Date Application

Here’s the dating application, idea stolen from Sex and the Single Dad, who stole it from someone else. I did get permission from SASD to steal it, which means it isn’t really stolen, but instead copied.

However, if you visit his application you’ll see that the apps are different (his of course being much more in depth). If you’re interested in dating both a single dad and a single mom, you may want to check out both. Not advising that anyone dates both, but whatever.

Applicants of course should probably answer all of the questions. If you are shy and want to respond privately, be warned that I will probably still use what you submit somewhere in the blog or a blog post. I will also add that being shy is not nearly as fun as posting your responses, and un-fun-ness is a big fat minus. So if you’re not fun…carry on.

Make sure you include your name (I shouldn’t have to say this) and a means in which to contact you whether by Facebook, email or cell phone.

Why do you want to date me?____________________________________

How did you find this page? _____________________________________

Random But Very Important Questions:

1.  Choose one and explain why. Fish sticks or Corn Dogs.

2.  When should a guy wear skinny jeans? What about jumpers? Spandex?

3.  Does your mom hate you? If so, why?

4.  Who is your best friend? (Those that choose inanimate objects such as beer, the remote control or steak, need not proceed.)

5.  What do you think of chicks with mustaches?

6.  Is there a possibility that you will be wearing the same clothes every time I see you? If so, why?

7.  What is the last book with chapters that you have read?

8.  Do you currently wet the bed, kill animals and/or start fires? Explain.

9.  On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being you suck, how good are you at knock knock jokes?

10. Are you on any crazy meds and what happens if you don’t take them? Additionally, has anyone ever referred to you as “certifiable”, “bat shit crazy”, or “crazier than a car full of monkeys”.

Please submit a photo of yourself, along with two signatures (not your own) underneath the phrase “This is really a photo of ________ (insert your name)”.

I will respond in most cases immediately. Please understand that because of the volume of applications that I receive you may not receive more than a “Hell No” or “Dude, I told you to stop reading my blog.”

In any event, thank you for applying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

comments

 
  • http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Cari

    Haha, love, love, love. When is Match.com going to get with the program and stop asking questions about your “interests” and get to the hard-hitting questions like, corndogs or fishsticks?

    Dudes wearing skinny jeans, spandex or jumpers are without a doubt still rockin’ some delicious rock band 80′s hair, or standing in line to try out for American Idol. Niether age group is appealing, good call.

  • http://osakabentures.com/ Saul Fleischman @applications development Japan

    There are *special* times when the mustache can be removed, right?

    • Solitary Mama

      No, Saul. The mustache stays.

  • http://atypicalread.blogspot.com scott

    1. Choose one and explain why. Fish sticks or Corn Dogs. I feel like this is some kind of play on words, in any case I choose Fish Sticks, but really prefer them to be properly washed first.

    2. When should a guy wear skinny jeans? What about jumpers? Spandex? Skinny Jeans: when parading like a fairy on Friday nights. Jumpers: When plowing fields. Spandex: When you have retired to Florida with a lot of money to compensate for the humility that is your dick in a pair of spandex.

    3. Does your mom hate you? If so, why? Yes. Because I know that you can read another’s expression while reading a book and know what the difference is.

    4. Who is your best friend? (Those that choose inanimate objects such as beer, the remote control or steak, need not proceed.)I am my best friend, but only because I know I can trust me and when not to trust that shifty Atypical bastard in the mirror. DON’T JUDGE ME!

    5. What do you think of chicks with mustaches? That I am either in remote regions of Mexico, or having a very uncomfortable dream about Chaz Bono.

    6. Is there a possibility that you will be wearing the same clothes every time I see you? If so, why? Yes. I have no sense of fashion or style. See latest video blog.

    7. What is the last book with chapters that you have read? Do pop-up books count? “Thud!” by Terry Pratchett and “The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman.

    8. Do you currently wet the bed, kill animals and/or start fires? Explain. Yes, but only when I wake up to find a bear standing over me with a hungry look on its face, unaware to the fact I sleep with an automatic pistol under my pillow, which went through it’s skull and hit a nearby tribute to the Twilight books, catching fire with the candles set around the altar they set upon.

    9. On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being you suck, how good are you at knock knock jokes? About a .5

    10. Are you on any crazy meds and what happens if you don’t take them? Additionally, has anyone ever referred to you as “certifiable”, “bat shit crazy”, or “crazier than a car full of monkeys”. Yes. no…wait. No and yes, all the time. But wait, when they see my master plan to have the moon shift enough that all the pocket change of the world falls into my hands, they will then see how brilliant I am. (inset evil laughter)

    Please submit a photo of yourself, along with two signatures (not your own) underneath the phrase “This is really a photo of ________ (insert your name)”. I have many photos of me already on that social bird site.

    At the sound of the tone, please leave me a message.

  • Mike

    This is one of those things that would be fun to take, just to see if you pass, even if you can’t graduate.

  • http://socialmediasun.com/ Adam Justice

    Why do you want to date me? Asian/Brunette/Smart Chick fetish
    How did you find this page?  @etelligence:disqus  referred me

    Random But Very Important Questions:
    1. Choose one and explain why. Fish sticks or Corn Dogs.
    *I love corn dogs, but I have loved fished sticks. In my mind I’ve already failed this application because I like the same food as a 5 year old. But also in my mind, there’s no way anybody don’t like Corn Dogs or Fish Sticks. Final answer: Corn Dogs because stick food is convenient.

    2. When should a guy wear skinny jeans? What about jumpers? Spandex?
    *Skinny Jeans: When Levis approves my endorsement deal  Jumpers: I approve of jumpers when their name is Kardashian and the building is over 8 stories.  Spandex: When you’re on the olympic swim team.

    3. Does your mom hate you? If so, why?
    *No, but she’s pissed because I don’t e-mail her in prison enough. True Story lol

    4. Who is your best friend? (Those that choose inanimate objects such as beer, the remote control or steak, need not proceed.)
    *Is it bad that my real friends all moved over 5 hours away from me?

    5. What do you think of chicks with mustaches?
    *Totally fine as long as she don’t have an Adam’s apple and a gun in her waistband.

    6. Is there a possibility that you will be wearing the same clothes every time I see you? If so, why?
    *Yes. I’m a fireman. but not really

    7. What is the last book with chapters that you have read?
    *Empire of the Summer Moon by. S.C. Gwynne. It’s like the native american Mein Kampf. I like chapters, but I like books with pictures and glossy paper too o_0 

    8. Do you currently wet the bed, kill animals and/or start fires? Explain.
    *Not currently, but I’m moving into a house with a fireplace, and I’m totally going to burn shit when it’s cold. Going to start the fires with Lint too.

    9. On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being you suck, how good are you at knock knock jokes?
    *11- The trick is knowing when to knock.

    10. Are you on any crazy meds and what happens if you don’t take them? Additionally, has anyone ever referred to you as “certifiable”, “bat shit crazy”, or “crazier than a car full of monkeys”.
    As much as I love medications, my psychiatrist said I was “clean as a whistle” and will no longer fulfill my requests. #ThisAintARadioShow

    Please submit a photo of yourself, along with two signatures (not your own) underneath the phrase “This is really a photo of ________ (insert your name)”.
    *I can’t meet these crazy demands! I only look different because my hair is dyed red and I grew 4 inches last year. It was a spurt. Ok, can I fax it?

    Killed it. So when should I pick you up, and by pick you up I mean pick me up because I drive a 1 person bicycle. If our date goes awesome I might rent a side car next time. This took longer than I thought, I feel like you owe me for blog content. You already owe me a Pizza, and anytime you eat Italian food (even if it’s from Dominoes) with somebody that means you’re on a date.

    Wanna go for a motorcyle ride?