spy

If You Are Spying on Your Boyfriend You Are a Stalker

By On July 25, 2012 · 20 Comments · In Me Being Me, Random Relationship Stuff, Single Mom Relationships, Wisdom You Won't Use Anywhere, You're Not Going to Believe This Ish

For some reason I was listening to the radio station after I promised last time I would stop listening to those fools, and also because I decided to stop calling, tweeting, facebooking, texting, telling people they were stupid, and SURPRISE DAMMIT they were discussing something even more asinine than usual.

I guess because of the Kardashians (which I’m not linking because I don’t watch or have any knowledge of these people), they were asking women if they had ever spied on their boyfriends or significant others. These silly biznatches were discussing how they spied, followed, tricked, hacked, pretended to be someone else, set up fake accounts on Match.com, ALL  just to find out if their partners were seeing other women.

One chick said she read her boyfriend’s messages on Facebook because he just happened to leave it open and she was curious. This girl however, did not find anything and all was well. The other chicks that called in of course didn’t have boyfriends anymore.

You will be happy to know I did not call the radio station and call them all a bunch of morons. Instead I texted them and told them “these bitches are stalkers. Their boyfriends obviously didn’t care if their crazy asses found out because they are CRAZY.”

See. Still didn’t break any rules.  Patting myself on the back for that. 1

It reminded me of a blogger I read once that said she was messaging her husband’s ex and pretending to be him on Facebook. Like flirting with the girl and everything.  Provoking her. Acting like her husband wanted her. What kind of relationship do you have where this is okay?

You are a stalker biznatch. And you are also cray. All of you.

Maybe I am sensitive because of a similar episode. I don’t need to be monitored. By anyone. I waited my whole life to be in charge of me. For months and still to this day, I’m not sure the people I am talking to online are actually who they say they are. I still have my suspicions that some are exes or coworkers or someone else just pretending to be YOU. I am not a member of the asshole “if you’re not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide” club. In case you didn’t know, that entire club is filled up with crazy stalker people.

What I Think In the Nicest Terms Possible:

  1. If your boyfriend has an account on Match.com or any other dating site, he doesn’t care if you find out. He isn’t on there to keep in touch with his grandma. He is on there to find a match. In fact, I would not even consider this person to be your boyfriend.
  2. Reading other people’s messages is nosy and creepy and quite honestly should be prosecutable like tampering with the mail. In fact, since no one uses the Post Office anymore, we should just transfer that law to email, Facebook, Twitter, texts and every other kind of messaging that we use nowadays.
  3. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you, YOU need to figure out if you are just insecure or if he/she is really cheating on you without dirty shit like stalking and spying. Like maybe asking them.
  4. And if you have to drive around, hide in bushes, wear a costume or pretend you are not you… 2

This is me in my bird costume, btw.

You are probably a stalker.

Or am I missing something. Is it ever okay to spy on your partner?

  1. Totally done listening to those assfaces. ↩
  2. Certain instances the costume thing is okay. I’ve heard. ↩

Related content:

  1. And then I Realized I Had Become the Jackass Whisperer
  2. 5 Reasons Single Women Should Find a Fake Boyfriend
  3. You Can Make Friends and You Can Make Pudding. But Can You Make a Person Insecure?

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  • http://socialmediasun.com/ Adam Justice

    wow, I can honestly say I’ve never had to deal with any of this crazy shit! I am guessing though, that the next serious relationship I’m involved in, there will probably be some snooping. I’m online too much – but it’s mostly work and looking at pictures of cats. I can imagine crazy bitch thought process now (I took a college course called crazy bitch thought process) “He has 20,000 Twitter followers, I know he’s messing with one of them”, and frankly, I would be depressed if a girl comandeered my Twitter account, and found out anything OTHER than 18,000 of them wanted to have sex with me. I mean, that would really ruin my weekday. We’re talking Wilt Chamberlain numbers now huh? I guess any future real life women will just have to believe me when I say that any kind of sex you can have through a computer is liable to leave electrical marks, transmit viruses and would require using ports that don’t match my hardware. 

    In b4 crazy bitches with spying stories :)

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

       I always believed you were sleeping with at least 18000 of your followers. That seems reasonable. Are you trying to say you’re not? I don’t believe you. Sorry. I will have to investigate…

  • http://ciaraballintyne.com Ciara Ballintyne

    Maybe only if you have a really good reason to think they are cheating on you. And I say that as someone who has been cheated on, and who knows first hand that ‘asking’ doesn’t often elicit the truth. People who cheat like that are usually trying to ‘have their cake and eat it too’, so they aren’t going to tell their spouse they are getting it on with someone else. That said, I only read my ex’s MSN chat log AFTER he’d run off with some other bitch, although I note he was STILL lying to me about it then, and I might never have learned the truth if I hadn’t. I also probably would have saved myself a lot of heartache and about $20,000 wasted on the wedding 6 months earlier if I had spied. I don’t know – where is the crazy line? When is spying justified? Especially if they ARE cheating? Boyfriends might be one thing – do the stakes escalate when it’s a husband? Does someone who is cheating have the right to complain his partner is spying? Is cheating or spying worse?

    I have a headache. I’m going to go have a lie down.

    Oh, the provoking stuff is definitely crazy though. No ifs, buts, or maybes…

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

      Stories like these are sad and I can see how it makes sense a little. However, I think reading them after it’s over is a little different. It is certainly torturous. I’m not sure I’d even want to know the details.  I have to admit that do think it’s less crazy and less stalkerish if you are married. These girls following around their boyfriends just seem so damn silly. It’s like an entire gen that thinks it’s standard to dig into people’s stuff. 

  • http://twitter.com/thefadderly Fadderly

    you know the old saying…if you’re looking for something you’ll eventually find it.  or…i think that’s how it goes.  maybe i just made that up.

    regardless…man!  talk about insecurity!  unless there’s a specific reason to look to see what your sig-o is up to, it is just stalking.  and that’s some trust issues.  and that may explain why your sig-o is on match.com.

    generally speaking, i think most people “know” when their sig-o is not being faithful.  they may not want to admit it to themselves, but they know.  

    otherwise…you’re just being insecure.  and untrustworthy yourself.

    and btw…by me saying “you”, “you’re” and “yourself”, i don’t mean YOU per se.  i’m sure you’re very trustworthy.  i was just being grammatically incorrect.

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

      Good thing you clarified, Fadderly. I was going to have to argue with you about how trustworthy I am. 

  • http://twitter.com/bubblegumcari Cari Wegner

    OMG, you’ve been reading my blog again, could’ve sited me up there;) Heehee. Now people will think I’m crazy-er.  That is some crazy stuff.  If you have suspicions, trust your instincts!  People don’t trust themselves anymore.  Not sure if it’s because they think they aren’t worthy or what?  I’m still trying to figure out why women will fight to hold on to dirt bag men that treat them shit.  Proving that the dude is cheating will only prove it.  Make sense?  It won’t fix anything, it will break you up and just cause more heartache.  Just run if you have an inkling.  My thoughts are the guy isn’t treating you well to begin with anyway.  Of course if you are married, you should slow the run down to a brisk walk and try to stop “catching him in the act” and communicate.  Lack of communication is probably what got you into this mess anyway.

    Okay, going to put on my camo and go sit outside your window.

    I also had an inkling that Adam was a man whore, suspicion confirmed.

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

      Yeah, I know. One or two extra women I could probably deal with since he’s somewhat of a Twitter celeb. 18000… gotta draw the line somewhere. 

  • Something Authorly

    Was this radio station by any chance KDWB?

    That came out way stalkier than it did in my head. (I grew up in MSP so I know the stations…or do I?  Do I just have the greatest glove compartment costume of all time and I was there spying on you listening to the radio?)

    Anyway it’s all stalker until you get married.  Then it’s Spy Vs. Spy time.  I’d be in my wife’s FB posting skanky pictures and then when she comes home I’d be like “Who’s Dennis?”  And she’d be like “That’s your Dad.”  And I’d be like “You’re leaving me for my father?  You bitch!”

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

      No, it wasn’t. But you have awesome detective skills. 

      Also, you ain’t right. Just thought I’d throw that in there…

  • FK

    I thought you were gonna say FB-radio-lady didn’t find any evidence of cheating so she determined that her man needed more investigating … because that is what crazy people do. Gibbs’ Rule #8: Never take anything for granted (you know, from NCIS)

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

      Dad…is that you? Only my dad knows all of the NCIS stuff. The FB radio lady was laughing nervously. I think she knew she sounded like a nutbag.

  • http://twitter.com/ssunithi Sunithi Selvaraj

    Been married 15 + yrs but  never felt the need to check on my man or vice versa. Don’t mean to sound self righteous here but if you feel the need to check (0r STALK as you wisely put it ) on your BF , SO or spouse you need to rethink the relationship ! No marriage or relationship is perfect but trust is an important cornerstone I think.  I am not the kind who believes in sharing email or Fb passwords etc. No ! everyone needs their privacy but trust  & a healthy respect for your partner’s privacy have to be there. If you suspect stuff, talk but don’t stalk ! I’m pretty sure I would go quite crazy if my spouse were checking on me or the other way around ! I would rather NOT be in a relationship than in one like that. Good post and I wish I had heard the radio show ! I would have called in too ! 

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

      talk but don’t stalk….maybe we should add that to the Mr. Tea Quotes. I think we know if something funny is going on most of the time (unless you are just plain old crazy) and it’s simply a matter of trusting ourselves.

  • http://www.facebook.com/derekodm Derek Odom

    LOLOL, another awesome entry.  I’ve experience with the stalker type – not fun.

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

       Thanks, D. I know.

  • http://thankq4commonsense.blogspot.com/ Thank, Q

    Nice bird costume!  I can barely recognize you.  I agree with you that something is wrong with people who are proud of their snooping exploits.  I do think that guys don’t care if they find out or not.  Anyone who feels as if they need to sneak or go through their s/o’s stuff had better be correct in their assumptions.  And even if they are, then what exactly have you proved?  You’ve proved that you’re just as big of a sneak than the person who was cheating.

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

       I tend to agree. It seems that a few people (of the married type) have legitimate reasons to spy. The rest is just silly.

      I probably shouldn’t have publicized that it’s me in the bird costume. Now I need a new one.

  • Pingback: You Can Make Friends and You Can Make Pudding. But Can You Make a Person Insecure? | Christina Majaski

  • http://www.theworld4realz.com/ Andi-Roo

    In one of my early relationships, I was very insecure, & spied on him often. I’m not proud of this fact, but there it is. Of course, he was cheating, & the relationship did not end well. Now, however, being happily married to a guy who has zero problem farting on me, & who takes it well when I in turn fart on him back… well, let’s just say we’ve seen each other at our worst & there’s seriously nothing to worry about for either of us. It doesn’t even occur to me to wonder. But our relationship is solid not only due to our respect & friendship & honest & all that other gross sweet stuff. It’s also because we are each secure in & of our own selves. If that makes sense.

    I would totally spy on Bruce Wayne, were we in a relationship. And Brad Pit. Those two guys make me feel much more insecure. And plus? Known man-whores. Just sayin’…