I haven’t posted much lately on dating – for the most part because I haven’t dated often. I know you are surprised. Act surprised. I deleted the PoF profile a couple months ago because the ridiculous messages + weeding through an exorbitant number of profiles I wasn’t interested in = the decision I would be single for the rest of my life and should really embrace the culture of Cat Lady. It’s far more complicated than you think it is. I’m kind of okay with that.
My mom even said it was okay. I don’t have family members who insist that I settle down and get married or who try to hook me up with Dorothy’s friend’s uncle’s son from church who used to be an alcoholic and disappeared for three years, but is saved now.
Not that I wouldn’t date such a person. Single mothers often have to deal with random blind dates that they are sort of expected to entertain and end up in matrimonial bliss with … simply because “he’s such a nice guy”. I don’t have to deal with that. (Hopefully, it isn’t because everyone knows I’d probably wreck the person and they make the
wise decision to save their friend’s mental health rather than corrupt it.)
The Dilemma of Young, Hot, and Smart. And Also, Young.
Meeting younger men isn’t really earth-shattering. I seem to meet many men 10 or more years younger. Most of the time, these guys aren’t bad guys and are very dateable. If you can think of an equation that beats young+smart+hot, please feel free to let me know.
As usual, I am the one who can’t seem to get that old lady/young guy image out of my head. He is somehow, wise enough to have refrained from mentioning that “age ain’t nothing but a number,” or this may be a completely different blog post. Because…
…age is a lot more than a number, even with young+smart+hot. Age is experience and growing up when there was no Facebook or Twitter. Age is losing people you thought you loved because there was no permanent or eternal connection. Age is knowing who Uncle Traveling Matt from Fraggle Rock is. Age is…I’ve been married and have a child, while you are just now experiencing your decade of enlightenment.
I know who I am. Because I’m not 30 years old anymore. However, I require a bit more than today.
The Other Dilemma of Old, Hot, and Smart. OKAY MAYBE NOT OLD BUT MY AGE, BITCHES
The guy closer to my age promised a year of his life to see if it would work. Like a warranty, or a contract of sorts.
A year. My last serious relationship was barely a year. When I think back, that year felt like five hundred years. A year is a long fucking time.
I told him “I don’t think a year is necessary. We can probably figure this out in like two weeks.” In reply, I received the Bert stare.
Older guys understand forever and locking down things now because life is short. And although they may have survived their decades of enlightenment, they seem to be living in the decade of atonement – where every move is a meaningful move and a lot of time is spent on making up for past wrongs that may or may not even have anything to do with you. While the less intelligent older guys cling to activities from their pasts that worked but were shitty, the smart ones spend a lot of time trying to make up for past shitty activities.
I’ve made up for a lot of past shitty activities. I have concluded that always making the right choice – to be careful and planning each step, just in case I may be fucking up again, is also not the way to live. I can’t be responsible enough to plan ahead that far.
No weirdness. No stalking. No guys with serious mental disorders that I know of. Disappointing on an entertainment level, but on a this-is-my-life-stop-laughing-at-it level, it’s actually good.
I suppose it all depends on how long you want the moon that is promised to you.
What is the youngest/oldest person you’ve dated? And, which would you prefer?
All over your inbox
- Richard Allen on How I Kicked Ass All Over My 2013 New Years Resolutions
- Marjorie McAtee on How I Kicked Ass All Over My 2013 New Years Resolutions
- Ned on How I Kicked Ass All Over My 2013 New Years Resolutions
- Christina Majaski on Perspective and Getting Head Punched by Little Fox
- Conscious on Perspective and Getting Head Punched by Little Fox