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The Downsides to Being Pretty and the Backlash of Being Ugly

By On April 5, 2012 · 26 Comments · In A to Z Challenge 2012, Uncategorized, Wisdom You Won't Use Anywhere, You're Not Going to Believe This Ish

So somehow I’ve made it to the letter D in the A to Z Challenge and I’m going to tell you, if shit didn’t just hit me upside my head when I sit down to write immediately, I would’ve bailed by now. I would’ve stopped at the letter A.

Straight into my inbox pops a HuffPo article by Emma Gray about the backlash Samantha Brick received on her article on the downsides of being pretty. Although the argument is tired and worn out and I suspect used just to get people riled up, I read it specifically to see what Samantha Brick , (she who is so pretty she is hated by women), looks like.

I’ve seen prettier. And I’m pretty so I can say that without appearing to be jealous, right?

She says the backlash she’s received from that article proves she’s right. I say the backlash proves she is full of shit and I am right. Because for every ounce of pretty there is in me, there are POUNDS of intelligence. I am so smart…

Okay, wait never mind. We’re talking about being pretty.

People aren’t mad at Samantha Brick because she’s so goddamn pretty that women feel threatened and are jealous. In this case, they are angry because she’s trying to make the rest of us look like a bunch of ugly,  jealous, petty, foolish women.

Sometimes, pretty women are assholes and that’s why we don’t like them. Just like sometimes ugly chicks are assholes and we don’t like them either. And sometimes men are assholes and we want to punch them in their junk.

I don’t hate many people. And I certainly don’t hate women simply because they are “beautiful”.  I also don’t believe that people hate me solely because I’m pretty because unfortunately, there are a bunch of other reasons someone could hate me. Such as:

  • Sometimes I am bitchy.
  • I laugh at people for being stupid.
  • I am mean as shit.
  • Occasionally I am loud and obnoxious.
  • I also cuss a lot sometimes.

These are all perfectly valid reasons to hate me and I’m okay with that.

But really, are pretty women (and I guess handsome men) actually hated simply for being attractive? Or is there almost always…some other reason?

Related content:

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  2. Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number Unless You’re Stupid

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  • http://robertlarend.blogspot.com/ The Robert

    I am mean as shit? Really, shit doesn’t care. Shit is simply a mindless waste dropped in a comode and flushed away. Shit cannot be mean. To declare otherwise is simply wrong.

    But, yes, you are pretty. But sometimes you are full of incapable-of-being-mean shit, too….

    • Solitary Mama

      I think you’re right. I’m not really mean and also shit is not mean either.

  • WNed

    I always find it amazing how much a simple smile can improve almost anybody’s looks, and just how ugly a scowl can make an otherwise beautiful face.

    • Solitary Mama

      Yeah and sometimes people are just craggy and grumpy. Sheesh what do you think is up with that

  • http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Cari

    Still loling at The Robert’s comment up there. Valid point. I think people are intimidated by confidence. You can be pretty and angelic and people will love you, as well as walk all over you. Women who are pretty and confident, are intimidating to other women and men. Women who are pretty and jerks, well then that makes way for hate. I still love you although you’re mean as shit and bitchy. Kinda what I like about you. ( I think you think you’re way meaner than you are).

    • Solitary Mama

      I know, I think I’m more bitchery. But if I say I’m bitchery I’m opening the door to people calling me a bitch. And I’m not really in the mood for that today. Maybe tomorrow.

  • http://www.scarletwonderland.com Jen

    I genuinely contemplated the possibility that Samantha Brick was actually just a fictional character created by the daily mail as an extended April fools! She was on the Radio yesterday too claiming other women don’t compliment her 19 month year old because it’s prettier than the other babies. Is. She. Being. Serious?? Great post though, you couldn’t be more right. I also allow people to hate me for drinking wine in the day x

    • Solitary Mama

      well that does sound ridiculous. I think as someone mentioned from the Jezebel article that the Daily Mail set her up. Amazing what people go through for page views.

  • Liz

    Hi Solitary Mom, I’ve always read your blog. And I’ve learned a lot from it. Thanks for letting me join in your conversation. Keep it up.

  • http://www.sexyfocusedambitious.com Lauryn Doll

    In the words of a friend, this girl is “Newsroom Cute” but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    I agree that she did come off obnoxious. I stopped telling people the things guys did and now I screenshot them instead. LOL. Now I can’t be blamed.

    Sometimes though, you’re blamed no matter what.

    Suck it up and f#ck it up! Live! Just don’t rant on Huffington Post about it.

    • Solitary Mama

      She’s got nuts for sure. Takes something to tell the world you’re so hot that people hate you for it.

  • http://lifeofherown.blogspot.com Melanie

    Love it! Personally I don’t think that she is that pretty. But then again maybe she is so devastatingly beautiful that I am jealous. Or perhaps the pictures don’t do her justice. Give me a break, who hasn’t had bottles of wine, etc sent to their table in a bar if they are confident and smiling and having fun at the table? I do remember though that I knew a model gorgeous woman once; some women did spread rumors about her, but if anything she said it was hard to find a date because many men were intimidated to ask her. Who the hell says that? “They hate me cuz I’m pretty”? I have never heard a pretty friend say that! I can honestly say that some other women hate me because I am strong, independent and I can kick a man’s ass in business any day, while my boyfriend is in the kitchen cooking for me and doing all my chores!!

    • Solitary Mama

      The ability to kick a man’s ass usually intimidates men. I, for one, like to keep girlfriends around that can make grown men cry. Maybe that’s just me.

  • http://darkstormyloopy.blogspot.com/ WowThatWasAwkward

    Your five bullets would be perfect for your dating profile. And also on your application for that drunken sailor job you’ve been contemplating.

    • Solitary Mama

      Well yeah. There’s much more where that came from.

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

      it would be way too much for my dating profile. I’m not ready for that many admirers.

  • http://lifeofherown.blogspot.com Melanie

    Ugh! I had to comment again cuz I’m so annoyed lol! She said that she flirts to get ahead. Who the hell does that! Perhaps that’s why other women don’t like her, perhaps she’s going around flirting and using her sexuality in front of their husbands, etc. Why not, if she’s doing it with her boss. I’m so embarrassed for her that she admit it. Way to go-all of us feminists have fought so hard for equality in the workplace and she’s flirting her way up the ladder and admits it! She sounds like a narcissist!!

    • Solitary Mama

      Yeah the article is a huge bucket of wrong. Although most people are focusing on the fact that she isn’t nearly as attractive as we’d expect for someone who behaves that way.

  • http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

    That article was in the Daily Mail, which, as Adam will confirm, is not the most reputable source of news information. I doubt if any of it was true. That said, for a British woman, she’s pretty damn stunning.

    • Solitary Mama

      That’s even worse for her if it is a joke. Why have someone writing about how attractive they are when they are not.

      • Solitary Mama

        I would also like for everyone to send me free wine now. Thanks.

  • http://jasonrunnels.blogspot.com Jason Runnels

    Isn’t Samantha Brick the same woman who asked,
    Do I Look Like Nicki Minaj?

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

      Hahahah…gross.

  • http://chopperpapa.com Chopperpapa

    I’m feeling certain the entire gig was a joke. If you’re that hot how is it you landed a neanderthal of a husband? Good God man get a facial or something.

    • http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

      Doubt a facial helps in a lot of cases.

  • http://twitter.com/DagsDiTom Oui In France

    Hahah, dying at the “I am mean as shit.” So glad I found your blog. ;-)