I was considering taking a hiatus from blogging about dating because it seems to be pissing people off and may actually be driving away any potential suitors. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. Yes, I did just blame my blog for being single. Better than blaming the entire universe like I used to.
But then I thought I should cover one more thing before I move on to cats or something…men love cat blogs. 1
I was out with a friend recently and among other things, chivalry came up. (For about 2 seconds anyway. We weren’t exactly holding a symposium.) He mentioned friendly acts like holding the door for women.
“Well, that’s just polite,” I told him. “I hold the door for people also.” (Otherwise you let it smash into their head and laugh about it. But that isn’t nice.)
Then, while overdosing on too much bread and spinach artichoke dip, we agreed on the awkwardness of other supposed chivalrous acts, such as opening the car door.
I immediately imagined this and thought yeah, if you try to open my car door, I’m probably going to mace you. And then I may key your face with my car keys. Because I’m wondering what the hell you’re doing on my side of the car.
Obviously, I imagine myself always being the driver.
Which made me determine that there are a couple reasons we don’t need chivalry anymore and should let it go the way of other stupid shit we once believed in. 2
1. The acts that were once considered chivalrous are now acts of politeness and common consideration expected of both genders. Although chivalry is attributed to “knights” and “gentlemen” we are at a point now where women are also, in the best interests of independence, obligated to put forth our own bit of chivalry. I’ve never met a knight but I assume that all men should behave as gentlemen…and all women as civilized ladies. However, the word “chivalry” only applies to men, which makes it archaic and sort of bull shit (as a word, anyway).
2. Besides being expected from both genders, many of the assumed acts of chivalry are outdated. One being the opening the car door thing. Back a billion years ago, when women weren’t allowed to work or make their own money or drive cars and had to ask permission to leave the house, we had no choice but to expect things like unlocking the front door for us, opening the car door and paying the dinner tab.
Which brings me to dinner. Not too long after our conversation on the awkwardness of chivalry, we ended up squabbling about who was paying. I felt it was my responsibility because I had asked him out. 3 He, for some reason was adamant about paying. 4
Now that I think about it, I’ve been out many times where it never crossed my mind to pay. There were also times where if asked to pay, I would have, but probably wouldn’t have seen the person again. I’ve rarely gone dutch because the whole thing is awkward. I have no set of rules when it comes to paying – sometimes it seems to be the right thing to do- but for the most part I expect men to pay and they actually want to. Why is that?
Do we need chivalry? Or just parts of it?
And who’s supposed to pay for dinner, anyway?
All over your inbox
- Cari Wegner on Why Friends With Benefits Is Bullshit
- Hugh Liddle on Why Friends With Benefits Is Bullshit
- Christina Majaski on Stupid List Friday: 5 Types of Old People You Can Probably Punch
- Gofuckyourselfoldwoman on Stupid List Friday: 5 Types of Old People You Can Probably Punch
- damnstraightchristina on Stupid List Friday: 5 Types of Old People You Can Probably Punch