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Worst Online Sites for Dating

By On February 1, 2012 · 40 Comments · In Single Mom Relationships, Solitary Mama, Uncategorized, Wisdom You Won't Use Anywhere

I don’t date often and I don’t think I have ever participated in online dating. I do interact quite a bit online though so I have my opinion on which sites would be the worst sites for dating. If you ever heed any advice that I give on this blog (hahahaha…suckers), trust me on this and save yourself some disappointment. You do not want to look for romance in these places:

Craigslist

Besides the fact that if you live in a small area, you run the risk of someone you know finding you on Craigslist and making you feel super stupid, overall, finding dates through online newspaper classifieds is a bad idea. I read one  in the local paper once that said “I’m currently in jail and would like company when I get out. Must be pretty and have a valid driver’s license.” Good thing about Craigslist is I don’t think inmates are allowed online.

What You May Hear

Yo, this is for my cuz. He just got out but he’s looking for a pretty girl. No fatties. Must send a picture. My cuz is a nice dude. No fatties. No crackheads. I’ve been to rehab. AA is my hobby. Peace.

OR:

Actual Photo on Craigslist. I don't date guys with the Walmart smile.

Triberr

Don’t try to date anyone at Triberr. Not that I have, I’m just saying. Those guys are interested in SEO and Google Analytics, and the ones that aren’t robots are married. And could be maybe still robots.

What You May Hear

“Let’s get together and inbreed.”

OR

“Beep. Beep. Boooop. Wooo wooo. Whirrr Whiirr…Meep.” Or “Halp! My stream is broken!”

Facebook

Let’s be honest. Either you’ve dated them already, they’re related to you, someone you know was married to or dated them, or you have no clue if this person is a real person or just a Farmville avatar. Either way, Facebook is not a suitable site for finding dates.

What You May Hear

“I wish I could smell you.”

OR

“OMG. My cousin just poked me. I think I may be sick. Like my status if you agree this is totally awkward.”

Twitter

140 characters isn’t much room to discuss anything meaningful and really they just want you to retweet their stuff and follow them. Similar to Facebook guys, Twitter AVI’s can be anything from a cat to a picture of someone 20 years ago and they’re super small so you can’t really even tell what people look like. At some point you will find yourself trying to enlarge someone’s AVI and you will wonder where your life went.

What You May Hear

“I use my dog as my avi because I’m so hot people will stalk me.”

OR

” I <3 you. #TeamFollowBack #YouKnowImHot #BuyMyBookonAmazon #Please”

My Blog

I apologize if you’ve come here to meet guys. I do know quite a few kinda hot ones that come through here, but most of them are bloggers. And I’m guessing like me, bloggers are about as much fun as a bunch of fat Kindergartener crayons stuck in your eyes. (Also see Triberr dating.)

What You May Hear

“Is this blog post about me? I have a feeling you’re talking about me. I tried to contact you on Facebook but you blocked me. What’s up with that? Call me.”

OR

“You must be ugly. I know why you don’t have any pics on your blog.”

I know you’re thinking these sites aren’t intended for dating. You’re right, but these are the sites everyone’s on so if you want a date, I suggest you go offline and meet someone in person.

What do you think is the worst place for finding dates?

***Also don’t look for dates on Pinterest or Etsy.

Related content:

  1. Single Mothers: 10 Guys You Should Not Have Sex With
  2. He’s Butt Hurt Over Your Blog aka Is This Blog Post About Me?
  3. First Date Gifts: It’s the Thought That Counts So WTF Were You Thinking

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  • http://osakabentures.com Saul Fleischman

    You know my LinkedIn story (the lady in FL who sent me a brief message – with a series of (clothed) photos). LinkedIn: the feel is all wrong for a pick up, I’d say.

    Triberr: News flash as this may be, but the women aren’t… I’ll be carefull here… The playform – it just doesn’t lend them to turning man’s mind on love. We think, “maybe she’ll do a guest post for me?” Something like that. On the other hand, if I was single, and say, if location wasn’t an issue, which “lucky” lady would I go after…?

    I’m NOT saying! “BOO HOO.”

    • Solitary Mama

      I just realized someone may take this seriously and think I expect Triberr to provide dates.

      Totally forgot about LinkedIn. And the rest of that was just weird, Saul. I’m going to act like I didn’t read that.

  • WNed

    So, did I become your uncle because of some law that requires people on FaceBook be related?
    Also, I think if we had actually taken that road trip to Hawaii, it would have qualified as a date since that was before I became your uncle… oh crap, now I’ve really confused myself… is a link-back a date in this context?

    • Solitary Mama

      Stop talking about dating and being my uncle at the same time.

      And if a link back is a date…I’ve been a busy woman.

      • http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

        What!? You’ve been linking back with other people!?

        • Solitary Mama

          Didn’t want you to find out this way, Marjorie. Sorry.

  • http://hypertransitory.com John Garrett

    Wait, Triberr isn’t for dating?

    Oh, crap.

    Some of the things I’ve said may seem kind of creepy, in that case.

    Although, I kind of hazily remember being promised my own harem when I signed up. I better talk to Dino about this one…

    • Solitary Mama

      Yeah me too, John. Obviously there was some confusion when “tribe” was described to me. Let him know I’m looking for my harem also.

  • http://www.stealingmummysmascara.com Stealing Mummys Mascara

    HAHA! totally agree, Pinterest would probably be quite good for people who are into watching food porn together though right? lol x

    • Solitary Mama

      Or funny poster freaks. Like me.

  • http://ciaraballintyne-fantasy.blogspot.com Ciara Ballintyne

    Yahoo! Messenger would have to be a lousy place to look for dates. Everyone one there is looking for some action without any commitment.

    OK check that, MOST of them. I just remembered I met my husband there…. OK, life is weird. Neither of us was there to date – or to hook up with anyone. I think I was looking for someone to harangue. Probably men. Hey, he decided after that he wanted to marry me so it couldn’t have been all bad… I should have bought a lottery ticket though since I was clearly having such a lucky day.

    • Solitary Mama

      Yep. On my way over to Yahoo Messenger.

  • http://www.suesnutritionbuzz.com/ sunithi

    Ha Ha!Great Read!Being married and such.. am not in the dating scene,but must say Triberr & Twitter are not the right places to even build relationship/friendships:like U said .. they cud be robots :) or blow up quick and easy since they’re just online ! Have made a couple of great friends there like you.. but jus sayin…You know what I mean ;)

    • Solitary Mama

      Yeah, I think it takes a little more to form a relationship (even as friends) with someone than what is feasible with any of these sites.

  • http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

    I meet people on Facebook all the time. I don’t date, though.

    • Solitary Mama

      Well, let me know if you start dating people you met on Facebook.

  • http://twitter.com/24k_mex 24k_mex

    Facebook and twitter are dating sites? I guess I’m behind on the times.

    • Solitary Mama

      Probably not. Although some people use anything as a chance to find someone.

      • http://twitter.com/24k_mex 24k_mex

        Haha, I know what you meant though. Some folks have no clue. I’ll admit though, I have used FB to hook up but it’s usually women I already know. The best way I’ve met new women is through friends and family.

  • http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Cari

    This post was about me wasn’t it? I totally thought I was dating you and Marjorie. Thanks for letting me down easy.

    I am single, but really skeptical about online dating entirely. Now to be fair my bff found her hubs on one of those dating sites. Sounds like too much work to me. Besides, I’ve found people are rarely themselves online. Eventually their true colors show, but I’d rather look someone in the eye and size them up than be disappointed when you find out they are a backstabbing jerk (speculation) or they end up married with 5 five kids.

    I’ll chance it the old fashioned way. I did score a date once with a guy who pulled my car out of the ditch during a blizzard!

    • Solitary Mama

      You got lucky on the ditch guy then. Usually they’re super creepy and I’m hoping they would go away and not help me.

      Backstabbers…yeah quite a few online.

  • http://www.singleguywithkids.com Steve

    Ha! I tried an online dating site and it was more work than actually looking for a damned job! You have to first email, then text if she likes you. And if you are really lucky, you get to chat on the phone… Imagine that!

    Then you meet off somewhere in a public place and the interview for the “significant” other begins.

    I hated it, but I do know folks that it did work out for. I went on two dates and done!

    • Solitary Mama

      Gee, Steve. No part of that sounds fun. I think I’ll stick to my crazy cat lady plan.

  • http://www.writelifestories.com Laura Lee Scott

    I have a fabulous story regarding online dating, which I take full and boastful credit for. Here goes: Best friend of 20+ years was hitting 40, and miserable about being single. After lending my shoulder so often it pruned, I decided to sneak a pic of her, and sign her up for Yahoo Personals. Yep, behind her back.

    Now, understand, I’m a mom, with (at the time, 5 and 9 yr old boys). Distractions abounded. On the plus side, I’m a writer by trade, and my knowledge of M. is vast and colorful. After screening approx. 100 men in a months’ time, I finally told her about it! She went on 2 dates, and ended up marrying the first guy (1 of 2) I felt were a good match for her. The End….or, more likely, a happy beginning? :-)

  • http://www.writelifestories.com Laura Lee Scott

    My main point: dating sites can be great, if you write an interesting, personality-revealing profile and really screen well. You can find out a TON about a person before even committing to a date. Sure beats the bar scene! And, the sites you listed would indeed suck for dating; it’s not their purpose, nor are they equipped to lend any benefit to the process. Definitely agree–stay clear of anyone trowling with cheesy pickup lines on these sites!!! Good luck!

    • Solitary Mama

      You must either know your friend really well or she was so miserable you picked up telepathically that she wanted you to do such a thing. I personally would’ve kicked your ass. Besides the fact that impersonating someone else to these guys is exactly what’s wrong with online dating. Maybe you just know her so well, she’s pretty much you. I’m glad it worked out for your friend but I don’t agree with this at all. ***NOTE TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY: DO NOT SIGN ME UP FOR ANYTHING WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. THANK YOU.

  • Laura

    Wow, okay. I can’t believe that’s your reaction to what was an original approach, yes, but a positive and totally successful one as well. To each their own, but know, I did NOT “impersonate” my friend IN THE LEAST. I wrote that I was her best friend and sel-appointed matchmaker, and that she was an incredible person who deserved and wanted to find love, but was jaded about online dating to the point that she’d all but given up.

    I didn’t force her (as if that would even be possible) to go on any dates; I simply screened the responses, searching and weeding out as a real matchmaker would, only as someone who knew snd loved her like a sister. I found her husband, but she’s the one who decided to go on that fateful, first date and that he was “the One.”

    It saddens me that you would jump to such horrible conclusions before having all the facts. If you think about it, people tend to put more stock in someone’s assets when someone else is tooting their horn, vs. themselves. That’s one reason why I think she had such an amazing volume of “quality” suitors, because someone else was vouching for her character.

    Perhaps, because it was so very late when I wrote this tale here, I left out key details that would not make you seem ready to throw me to a lion’s den. Sorry if I offended you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, even though it literally ate up over a month of my time and was certainly an atypical approach. They’ve been happily married for two years now, and are in the process of adoption, so obviously its not quite as reprehensible as you originally thought? :-)

    In fact, I was approached by all her single friends at the wedding, and still get requests for help. Sometimes, God uses us as an instrument for helping others; and whether or not you agree, that’s what it felt like as I did this for her, and also the way most people seemed to look at it.

    Regardless, best of luck to you. I hope you can find that special someone some day….however that is meant to unfold for you.

    • Solitary Mama

      Yes, my response was based on the comment you left, which was probably missing some of the information. Why didn’t you just tell her you would help her online instead of sneaking her onto Yahoo? That’s the part I would be unhappy with, because although it turned out well, it could have also turned out very badly. You can still be a fantastic matchmaker and help people but I would never recommend going behind someone’s back and putting them online without their consent.

  • http://chopperpapa.com Chopperpapa

    Whoa, whoa, whoa! I am the funniest, most entertaining blogger you’ve never met.

    • Solitary Mama

      Fat crayons. In the eyes.

  • http://www.amberrisme.com Amberr Meadows

    Online dating is just scary. I’d definitely not look for dates on EBay, and it’s not mentioned here because it’s thought to be dead anyway, but MySpace is still a flourishing troll haven.

    • Solitary Mama

      I thought of MySpace. But then I figured everyone would be asking what MySpace is.

    • http://web.mac.com/alisonwise/Ad_Meliora_Vertamur/Home/Home.html Alison

      My ex-husband met his (now) fiancee on MySpace. It was funny too, in the hey-day of Facebook taking off, she emails him and asks if they’re related. His user id had the same last name as a good part of her family.

      A few months later, I saw “He’s Just Not That Into You” and laughed myself into fits at the “Oh honey, my little sister says MySpace is the next booty call” comment.

  • http://www.beardandpigtails.com Beard

    Is it bad that I understand your Triberr robot speak? I couldn’t make out a couple words, but the gist is you think Dan Cristo is a handsome cyborg, and something about coupon bloggers.

    • Solitary Mama

      You’re trying to get Grace to kick my ass aren’t you

  • Laura

    Fair question regarding why I didn’t mention that I was putting up a profile and on a quest to find my best friend a mate from the beginning. I didn’t do it to be a control freak or deceptive (which seems to be the pic being painted of me). I chose to keep my efforts to mysel because M. had just come off a bad breakup, and was completely depleted of hope. She would never have allowed me to pay for the service, or invest my time (which, as your buddies here have pointed out, is extensive; but when it comes to screening for a life partner, I would HOPE one would be okay with being as selective and thorough as possible!). She would not have not wanted to inconvenience me, nor did she think there was any chance of success. In the funk she was in, I also did not want to raise her hopes unnecessarily and then, if I failed to find any quality candidates, sink her further into a depressed state.

    I don’t know how old you are, but if you’ve always wanted marriage and family, and all your friends have that, staring down 40 without any prospects is really tough for a woman. This is where M. was, and it was heart-breaking to see her so discouraged. You’re right about it beung fortunate it worked out, but I don’t know what horrible things could have come out of the scenario if I had been unsuccessful. She simply wouldnt have known it had been another dead road. As for safety, I did background checks on these guys, and I didn’t give anyone any personal contact info until she knew the situation– and then SHE gave out her phone number. So, really, between the security of the site, my doing all the work, and her not having to feel anxiety about any if it, I (and all who really know her) will always feel this was was the best possible route. (Not to mention, the LEAST “dangerous”; compare that to meeting a guy…where, especially at 40 with all married friends????)

    I really don’t expect any of what I’m telling you to change your mind. We see things the way we want, and I think you are going to find fault regardless. That said, I appreciate you’re letting me “in” to the group’s discussion, even though all minds have already been made up. I’m not discounting the frustrations you guys have had with online dating sites. Just wanted you to know there’s also real hope and potential there too.

    Good luck, and take care.

    • http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Cari

      Laura, I don’t think there is a question that you had your friend’s best interest at heart. However, I see Christina’s point here, and I too would have been livid. It’s worse than being “set up” on a blind date. I think married people think we single people are miserable for some reason, when that’s not the case.

      It can also be said for single women, women in general and society that we think there is something ‘wrong’ with us if we are single, or are looking for a man to fix us or make us whole. A single man 40 and older is a bachelor and a single woman 40 and over is an old maid. There is a terrible double standard. Our focus is so zeroed in on not being alone rather than nuturing ourselves and being happy within first.

      I also wonder if your friend was feeling so low and desperate that she might have been scared to say no to you, even though in her case it turned out okay. But what if it had not? What if the guy was an abusive jerk or serial killer. Serial killers can have squeaky clean background checks too. I guess that is the risk you take in any dating situation though. I also question the type of guy that would respond to a “my friend” ad.

      I can see your point and glad it turned out happily ever after for your friend. But as a single women staring down 40 as well; I can’t stand the well meaning friend who thinks I need a man in my life.

  • Laura

    My last comment here EVER: I really can’t believe the toxicity of this thread, and am so sorry I ever added my thoughts. I am not representing all married women. I am not an overbearing, scary bitch my friend fekt bullief by. I’m a feminist, and actually have other single friends who never plan to marry, who don’t want children; I love them for who they are, and would never interfere with their choices or even THINK they are living lesser lives. They are happy, so I am happy for them! I couldn’t have been more clear about the specifics of my best friend’s unique case: SHE WAS SINCERELY MISERABLE BEING SINGLE. You claim married women make sweeping judgments about single women–what about the sweeping judgment that you are making of married women? Of me, whom none if you know? This wasnt me playing God! I was just giving her another option, something she couldn’t (at the time) do for herself.

    The truth is, marriage is very hard work and sometimes incredibly painful; it’s certainly NOT the end-all means to happiness. You’ve made what I did into some sticking point that is grossly out of context, but I give up. I may suck to you, but the sweeping judgment, anger and hostility I’ve received here is bullying in a very sophisticated form. Please stop now and move on. The only thing that matters is that my friend, her husband, and everyone who actually knows the situation in detail, along with the individual personalities, thinks I did something kind and rather extraordinary. I put myself out on a limb for her and while unorthodox, it was better than continuing to sit by and watch her suffer. It was a long shot, but it worked. She’s happy. He’s happy. End of a ver unique and beautiful story.

    On behalf of all married women everywhere, since we’re obviously all one, massive, stupified parasite sucking the life blood from single women everywhere, I will now retreat to the underbelly of skankhood. Thank you for enlightening me as to my evil ways.

    • Solitary Mama

      That’s crazy, Laura. I’m sorry this is what you’ve gotten from the discussion. Thanks for stopping by.

  • http://www.terryartworxstudio.com Tim Terry

    I enjoyed the article, and appreciate You Wit and Wisdom! :) ))